Each of us has its own love language.. we might have gotten this from our parents, genes, or DNA.. (learn more from Dr. Gary Chapman of the "5 Love Languages") and our love language has to be nurtured and met by our spouse or partner in order for us to survive and thrive in a relationship and vice versa - meaning you have to nurture and meet your spouses' or partner's love language too.
Here are the 5 kinds of Love Languages we need to learn:
- Words of Affirmation
- Gifts (Receiving and Giving)
- Time (quality conversation and/or quality time)
- Physical Touch
- Acts of Service
You might ask how Dave and I meet our love language daily so that we will be able to nurture and meet each other's needs (our love language).
- Dave is a Word of Affirmations and Acts of Service kind of person. He loves it when I affirms him, acknowledges him in whatever he does for me and for our family. Even if he does small things like washing the dishes, cooking for us, driving our car while we go somewhere, he likes it when I appreciates him by saying the words like "Thank you Love for washing the dishes for us..." or "You did a great job.." "Thanks for taking care of our family.." "Thank you for providing for our family.."... He wants to hear those acknowledging words from me.. and as his wife, knowing that this is his love language, I always make sure I say this every day.. I pour on his love tank the affirmations he needs so I can make him feel more loved. Although sometimes, for us, it might seem like it's not a big deal, but for him and for people of Words of Affirmations, this is a big deal for them and when we do acknowledge and appreciate them, this is a very romantic points for them.. so there you go!
- Since Dave's second dominant love language is an Act of Service, I try to cook for him everytime he goes home, do our laundry, clean our house, drive for us, do some paperworks which he dislikes most, and other small things. All these acts are great reminders for him that I love him. For myself, since I am not an Act of Service kind of person, I choose to do this for him because that's how he felt more love.
- My Love Language are Gifts and Quality Time. This is really important for me. I feel more loved and cared for if Dave gives me his all attention and time. I find it more romantic if he gives me gifts - material or not, whether it is expensive or not. I don't care if it's from dollar store or not. lol. I long for his surprises every now and then. That's how my love tank gets feed. So can you see the difference between us? Dave is not naturally a gift person. He doesn't mind if he doesn't receive gifts. For him, giving and receiving gifts is not a basis of love. But for me, it is somehow a basis of love. That's why he choose to give gifts so I will feel more special.
- As a Quality Time person, I need our own alone time once a week. We have this weekly Tuesday Lovedates where we talk, spend each other's time alone, either cuddling, laughing, and sharing anything. For me, I feel more loved when he spends more quality time with me. Even in a party, and there's a lot of people which we like as well, but at the same time, I have this longing of after a busy day, I got to have atleast 30 minutes or more of alone time with him every day. That is my love language.
Again, go figure out your own and your spouse love language by taking the test now!
